How Shenzi Got Her Groove Back
by tearthgrrl
Summary: Anthro New Year's fic. Shenzi unknowingly donates to charity, in an attempt to please her idol Whoopi Goldberg. Now she must save her reputation before her "honored" name is known throughout the kingdom.
1. Whoopi's Prophet

This is what happens when I wanna do a fic for Christmas, but don't get the right idea until the day _after_ said holiday. Which sucks… unless there's another holiday you can pass this off on: anyway since I figured I never did anything for New Year's before, I can do this. There's three things to know about this fic: it's anthro, it's a holiday special, and it involves **Shenzi being generous**. Interested? Then read on!!

* * *

"Know what? I still kinda miss Christmas." T said as she stuffed the last of the wrapping paper into the nearest trashcan. Ed, who had one of the last candy canes poking out of the corner of his mouth, nodded in agreement.

"Not me." Banzai stated. "I wanna get all this cleanin' up trash over with so I can skip straight to Bujune's New Year's party." He grinned. At that, Ed began to laugh enthusiastically; saliva dripping down the candy cane, leaving little pink puddles in the dark gray carpet.

"What's so great about a New Year's party? You just stay at someone else's house to count down 'til it's midnight. Can't we do that here?" T shrugged.

"Heck no! And I ain't talkin' about some lame Katie Couric special. I'm talkin' about all the free booze I can drink!"

Ed laughed hungrily after Banzai had made his statement, then licked his upper lip in one swift motion. His friend waved it off.

"Yeah, yeah, and all the babes Ed can handle. But I'm just mainly in it for the drinks. A couple pre-shots before we head there, and then the whole flippin' bottle of sweet tequila the minute we hit the doorstep!" The oldest of the group then let out a barking laugh. "Aw man, you shoulda seen how wasted I got _last_ year! Shenz' and him had to drag me out of a ditch somewhere in Milwaukee! I don't remember how I got there but, dude! What a ride!!"

Judging by the low rumbling sound that materialized out of Ed's throat, T guessed it was a pleasant experience for Banzai and Banzai alone. She just shrugged it off and returned to her work of removing the old disposable Christmas attire from the house. After taking a garbage bag out of a can and walking toward the doorway, where outside the corner trash receptacle stood, she happened to glance out the window…where her eyes immediately glued onto a certain red motor vehicle in the driveway. Not taking her gaze off their frost-enveloped convertible, the 19 year-old female focused back on the happily ranting male behind her.

"And you'll be…_driving_?" She asked. Banzai gave her a skeptical look.

"No, I was actually planning on saving a whale or two and taking a pair of roller skates instead." Ed giggled and slurped off some of the pinkish gunk that had formed around where the brim of his mouth and the edges of the candy cane met. This time T looked back at the other two and, putting the trash bag aside for later, crossed her arms as she leaned against the doorframe.

"So, you'll be drinking _before_ you even go to a party where you plan to get drunk? And, you're expecting me to just let you drive anywhere you please while you're intoxicated?" Banzai rolled his eyes.

"Great, I know where this is goin'." Leaving the bag by the door, T glided over to the armchair of the couch and grabbed the remote that had lay there. Her thumb slid along the buttons until the TV was on and the channel turned to the local news station. After which, she refocused her complete attention on Banzai.

"Luckily the news always has some dramatic disaster to report: maybe now you'll rethink what you're about to do after you see some drunk's car wrapped around a tree _like it was a piece of ribbon_!!"

"Hey, if you think you're the only one who worries about the car, babe-" T groaned before Banzai could finish.

"It's not the car." She said through her teeth. This time, after standing in thought for a minute, the older hyena slyly cackled to himself and casually walked over to her.

"Let's try to remember one thing T: **I'm** the adult, and **you're** the minor." Then just to get her irritated he ruffled her bangs as though she was a two-year old pup; by the scowl on her face it seemed to work.

"So until you hit 21, I call the _shots_ when it comes to alcoholic beverages!" He laughed at his own joke.

Unbeknownst to either of them, Ed had gotten into an old bag of party favors that had been unseen beneath the couch; until now. Curiously, he reached inside and took out a strange, yellow-colored thing with two strings on each end. While T and Banzai were busy arguing, he examined the unusual-looking item in his hands. To get a better look, he took both strings into each one and lifted it up to his face. It was so tiny he had to bring it just a breath from his nose, all the while holding the thick white threads tightly so as not to drop and lose the intriguing object.

Wondering why Ed was being so quiet all of a sudden, T inquisitively tilted her head past Banzai, who was now preaching something about her worrying too much and that being the reason she was still single.

"Ed?" She said as she looked behind the male in front of her. When she saw the current situation her friend was in her eyes bulged.

"ED!!" She yelled as she swerved by Banzai and in the oblivious male's direction. Once Banzai had seen what caused T to panic, he also raced toward him.

Of course Ed raised a brow at his companions' abnormal behavior, still clutching the strings in hand. Unfortunately, Banzai tripped over some left over wrapping paper sticking out from the left side of the living room; the side _he_ was supposed to clean up. This caused him to instinctively reach out for something to prevent his fall, and Ed's arm was the nearest possible steady.

The sudden jerk on his left arm caught Ed by surprise, but not as much as a semi-loud "pop" and a sprinkling of something on his face-to-shoulder area. Alarmed, the hyena ran around distraughtly. Meanwhile his friend's arm had done little to save him from the impact to the floor and Banzai was trying to get up on his feet. T, who had tripped over the older male, was trying to get up herself. After dusting herself off, she quickly ran after Ed to make sure he didn't hurt himself.

"Ed!!

"Stop! Those are breakable!

"Wait! You're gonna fall down the stairs!

"Oh no, when did someone leave a metal hanger **jammed** in an outlet?!"

_A few minutes later…_

Luckily Ed had managed to avoid any injuries whatsoever: the worst harm that came to him, was an unsafe amount of glitter in his eyes, which T gently cleaned out. She herself however, got a few bumps and bruises trying to keep up with the older male in her efforts to make sure he wouldn't get killed.

Afterwards, the three settled down in the living room on the couch in front of the TV to await Shenzi's arrival so the trio could go to Bujune's New Year's party. T was wiping the last of the confetti and glitter out of Ed's left eye with a damp cloth while Banzai hit the "mute" button on the remote: one could only take so much of the local news.

"At least _consider_ a designated driver." T said once Ed's face was completely free of debris.

"And who's gonna be that? Ed's one-night-stand girlfriends will probably want 'im to drink with 'em; I'm hopeless as far as bein' sober goes; And Shenzi herself likes to have a few shots every half hour or so-ouch!!" Banzai's hand shot up to the back of his head after an unknown object collided with his skull. His mouth turned down enough to reveal all his sharp teeth, as he turned, and who should be there but-

"At least I don't go off into the streets and fall into a bus' luggage compartment and end up out of the whole dang state!" Shenzi growled.

"So I had a few too many: learn to live a little." He replied.

"You won't live very long if you drive drunk." T murmured under her breath.

"_Drive_? Him?" Shenzi scoffed. "I wouldn't let him drive me anywhere if he were the last-…"

The three remaining hyenas blinked after she stopped in mid-sentence. T and Ed exchanged confused glances while Banzai raised an eyebrow.

"If I were the last-?" He started for her again. She didn't answer. Now the group was starting to get a little anxious.

"Shenz'? You ok?" T asked concernedly. Ed rubbed his jaw in thought as he saw her blank stare… or, _seemingly_ blank stare. Curious, he followed her gaze, only for his eyes to momentarily bulge, before laughing hysterically.

"What're you goin' off about now?!" Banzai demanded irritably, wondering what Ed could possibly find so funny about this situation. T observed the youngest male of the four of them, before following the matriarch's gaze as well, only to raise an eyebrow in query.

"Banzai," She said.

"Hmm?"

"Is Shenzi a fan of Whoopi Goldberg?" This caused him to laugh just as loud as Ed did, before said hyena laughed again after she asked the question.

"Fan?! She's a friggin' prophet!" The toughest one told her.

"Safia once had maternal pains while she was pregnant with her, until she went to see 'The Color Purple'!"

Ed guffawed at his friend's joke.

"She spent her entire fund for a private school solely for future matriarchs, just so she could buy her own tickets to 'How Stella got her Groove Back'!"

T glanced up at Shenzi, expecting a furious reaction; but nothing, not even a momentary glance from whatever she was looking at. Banzai and Ed however continued their hilarity.

"She threatened to strangle me and Ed if we didn't get her 'The World According to Whoopi' on DVD this Christmas!" After that joke though, instead of laughing, the two males paused, then shuddered.

T began to get a little uneasy, something wasn't right: usually her matriarch would be using Banzai and Ed to buff the walls by now. But Shenzi had shown no reaction _at all_. This was entirely worrying her; quickly she got up from the couch.

"Shenzi-" But the minute she stepped in front of her, the older female's lip curled back into a snarl and she grabbed T by the collar of her jacket. Seeing this, Banzai and Ed froze in place. At first they were wondering why their matriarch would grab _**T**_ like that, until they saw the TV. Now they were terrified; not liking where, they knew, this would go. In a flash, Shenzi had to move only one arm in order to swiftly and easily heave the youger hyena all the way to the other side of the living room; she collided with the lamp stand and fell onto the shards of the vase that once held the houseplant she painstakingly kept alive even with clumsy, curious Ed in the house.

The two males were quick to rush to her side, taking the nearest route _behind_ Shenzi of course. T groaned as she brushed the potting soil from her bangs.

"…Maybe we shoulda said we were serious." Banzai said. Ed nodded.

"Yeah, that would've been appreciated." She replied through the leaves of her eventually dead houseplant. Ed helped her to her feet and checked to make sure that none of the pieces of broken glass shredded their way through the jacket…or to her back.

The three looked back at Shenzi, and her eyes were glued to the tube like they were before, as though she hadn't just slung an innocent bystander into a hazardous fall.

On the screen, a lively woman was giving what looked like a deeply important speech about, since Banzai had left it on "mute", an unknown topic. But it was obvious she was strongly opinionated about it. Judging by the expression on Shenzi's face, she could tell this even if it didn't have highlight text every now and then; such as "crucial" or "simplest necessity".

Then, without warning, Shenzi abruptly turned around and made her way out of the living room. Following her with their eyes, the three saw her stop at the downstairs phone. Quick as a flash, she lifted it off the receiver and her fingers skimmed the numbers.

Now extremely perplexed, Banzai and Ed turned their attention towards the TV, and T watched as their brows raised in a mixture of confusion and inquisitiveness…before their jaws dropped in shock. The next thing she saw was the two of them bolt out of the living room, only to stop dead in their tracks upon seeing the now-emotional female grinning and placing the phone down.

"Well, that's five thousand dolla's well spent if I do say so myself."

"Oh no…" Both males seemed to say.


	2. I Know a Guy

"Well c'mon, we gonna be late for the New Year's party." Shenzi told Banzai and Ed as she grabbed her tan coat from the rack. "Then I can brag about how much Whoop's gonna love me aftah she sees how much money I sent."

"Uh, Shenzi?" Banzai began.

"What?"

"That commercial you just saw-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know; Whoop's the greatest girl in creation. But, even as much as I'd _love_ to, if we keep yappin' about it we'll miss the party. We can talk all about it when we get to Bujune's place though; but _I_ brag, you two can just say you were there. Now ya wanna get drunk or not?"

Banzai and Ed exchanged glances, and after a moment shrugged it off. Ed was the first to walk out the door, and Banzai quickly moved over to a small table beside the couch, where on it was a small glass with a strange, reddish-brown liquid inside. T watched as he drank the whole thing in one gulp, before seeing him disappear out the door as well. Shenzi glanced back,

"Keep the front door unlocked, but lock your bedroom door when ya go to sleep. I give you permission to use _my_ gun."

And with that the trio departed for the night.

T glanced back at the TV, where the commercial was starting to end.

"Advertisements on television just keep getting longer and longer." She bleakly stated as she took a seat on the couch, preparing to change the channel. But once her hand reached for the remote, her eyes widened at what she saw.

"…O…M…G…that reminds me; I should probably stop texting Erin and Alyssa so much, but seriously, OMG!" She bolt-sat-upright on the sofa.

"Well it looks like killers _can_ have hearts: how else would Shenzi donate to a charitable cause?"

* * *

Bujune's place, once Gituku and Monifa's until the more cowardly of their group grew a backbone, was located in the slum part of town. Not far from where Shenzi, Banzai and Ed lived, it was a small shack, made entirely of old boards; so small the _alleyway_ next to it was counted as part of their home. Though to most, from the looks of the place, "home" was an abnormal word to use for it.

When the trio pulled beside the concrete walk, they could already see a yellow light spilling into the end of the alley, where to the left, the party was already commencing. Shenzi left her coat in the driver's seat and locked the doors once Banzai had gotten out of the passenger side, having slight trouble walking, and Ed from the back seat behind Banzai.

Inside, the room was packed with hyenas; some drinking, some talking, some sneaking off, some breaking stuff. Bujune was there, actually looking a lot better than his past weak-willed self; green button-up shirt with the sleeves to the elbows, left open so a purple shirt was visible, regular jeans, and brown loafers. He was busy affably talking to a group around him.

Abeni, her usual attire of a orange tube top with one strap around her neck, long aqua-blue pants and green shiny boots with the tops covered by said long pants, was drinking a small glass with lime liquid and an olive inside. And also watching Kamau, her unofficial boyfriend in a dark green jacket that was kept zipped up, dark blue jeans, and black shoes, trying to keep some out-of-control, drunk partygoer from getting himself killed. It only took but a minute of walking deeper into the crowd to realize who it was.

"Great! Gituku's already drunk!" Banzai ranted. Gituku was lumbering around, swinging the arm that wasn't holding the mug of alcohol, and making a lot of hyenas irritated. He was already asking for trouble by walking up to a male and telling him how stupid he looked, and how hot his girlfriend was. Kamau was putting himself in between them and trying to calm the male down.

"There's a bottle of scotch over there, knock yourself out…just not literally." Shenzi pointed to a countertop with a glass bottle on it.

Ed's eyes were already on a couple of females who were giggling across the room. One of them motioned with her index finger for him to come over; he happily complied.

_A few minutes later…_

To Banzai's good fortune, he managed to get just as inebriated as, if not more than, Gituku after a few shots of straight alcohol.

"If it don't burn goin' down, you won't see me drinkin' it." He cackled, leaning against a wall. Gituku, always glad for an opportunity to infuriate his puphood rival now blood rival, stumbled right over after hearing the familiar voice; his famous smirk quite visible.

"Hey buttmunch, where's the _hot_ one of your group?" He said; ever since the bank robbery incident, Gituku had developed an interest in T. The other male glared at him.

"Hey, kiss my-!" The rest of his insult was delayed as he momentarily stumbled when he tried to gain his balance in order to face his rival.

"And where's that girlfriend of yours anyway?" Banzai continued. "Usually she's givin' our boss a hard time by now. I ain't seen 'er all night." Gituku tried his best to explain through all the stumbles he made due to hand gestures and various body language.

"After we robbed the bank we got chased by the cops. I had a few one too many-whoa!" He would've nearly tumbled forward if not for the wall hanger. "...When I wanted to celebrate our improved street cred…" He hiccupped, "and I wanted ta drive home. Monifa drank with me. Bujune was sober so…so they let him go, me and Monifa got put in lockdown. But I broke out, she didn't." Once he gagged, before glaring darkly at Banzai. "And she's not my freakin' girlfriend, tailwipe!"

"Riiiiiiight, so I guess she's just around for a good time?"

"Well what else is she good for?"

"You better shut up fast Gituku." Came a feminine voice to their left. They looked over to see Abeni with her arms crossed.

"What's up with you?" Gituku also stumbled in an attempt to face her, so he grabbed a desk, knocking a lamp onto the floor. "I thought you didn't even like Monifa."

"No female deserves to be talked about like that, not even Zira…ok _maybe_ Zira." The usually quiet female stated.

"Whatever." Gituku grabbed a shot glass filled with a, most likely, alcoholic drink and took a swig. "Hey if you were gonna drink, how come you're not drunk yet?" He asked, noticing the half-full martini glass still in her hand, as he leaned against the countertop for support.

"Yeah, seems kinda pointless." Banzai cut in.

"I like to drink, but I _also_ like having all my brain cells." Abeni stated as she leaned against the wall.

"Eh, what's brains ever gotten you?" Gituku's slurred voice demanded.

Abeni looked like she was about to roll her eyes…until her gaze darted over to a different part of the house. Puzzled, Banzai followed her stare…only to let out a toneless, yet understanding, "Oh." at what they saw.

Ed was already cuddling up with the two females he was grinning at earlier: one's leg was draped over his lap, and the other's arms were loosely locked around his neck, he had his arms around both their waists. Banzai turned his head back to see Abeni silently fuming; although she and Ed had gone their separate ways years before, she still felt a little jealousy at every new female that came into his life. Not saying another word, she swiftly turned in the opposite direction and walked off.

Banzai blinked, but his moment of, as thoughtful as one could get while drunk, pondering silence was interrupted by a rough shove from behind. His lip curled back in a snarl as he turned around.

"Hey booze-breath, what's your problem?!" He demanded from the rival male cockily smirking at him.

"Me? Nothin'. _You're_ the one who's sober enough to stand up."

"Gimme that bottle over there and we'll see about that!" Banzai retorted.

_Meanwhile…_

Shenzi was in a crowd of her own personal choice; a group of somewhat high-ranking females. Some even skilled enough to make an average girl hyena feel intimidated, and one with low self-esteem cry. The smirk on their matriarch's face wasn't going unnoticed, and there wasn't one female in the group who didn't want to know why she was in such a good mood.

"Did we take over new territory? Are we expanding the clan?" One asked curiously.

"Nope." Their matriarch replied, swirling a drink around in her martini glass.

"Did you kill a lion to bring to the party?!" One asked eagerly.

"Not this time."

"Are you _engaged_?" One asked, more fervently than any of the others had.

"_Please_." Shenzi rolled her eyes.

"Well, what is it?" A female finally asked, the rest backed up her inquiry with a chorus of "yeah's". After a moment the leader hyena raised her arms up and repeated, "Alright, alright!" until the crowd died down. Once it was possible to be heard without any unnecessary raising of her voice, she wiped the brim of her glass with an index finger, licked it, and continued swirling the drink around.

"If any of you _must_ know, I-"

She was cut off when something locked around her waist, and the next thing she knew, her backside was pressed against something very firmly. Shenzi immediately twisted her head around to see who had the nerve, only to half-close her eyes at who she saw.

"Aw yeah; this beats last year by a long shot." The matriarch stated when she looked at a very drunk Banzai.

"Aw don't be like that babe." His strong, alcohol-scented breath invaded her nostrils. A few females in the group around them giggled. Shenzi turned to the crowd.

"I'll see you ladies later." Nobody moved.

"I said **LATER**!" Shenzi growled: immediately the rest of the females scattered. Once they were gone she turned back to the highly intoxicated male that was still gripping onto her.

"If you let me go now, I promise I'll only turn the TV all the way up when you have that hangover."

"Man is it a turn-on when you're threat-ben-ning." Was her reply. "So, you…you doin' anything later?" His slurred voice inquired.

"Gee, I don't know." She responded skeptically.

"How 'bout _me_ later?" Without warning he leaned in towards her face.

One hard smack was all it took, and Banzai was thrown hard against a makeshift sofa, attracting the attention of a few bystanders. The male rubbed his throbbing head, until he was grabbed by the collar of his shirt and heaved up so he was face-to-face with Shenzi.

"Before I show everybody here yo' spine, I've got a few ladies that need informed of my lil' favor to Whoop."

"_Favor_ to _Whoop_? Nah, nah, nah; you got it all wrong, baby." He said.

"What's all that booze got you sayin' now?" The female of the trio demanded…while trying to stop one of his hands from reaching her backside.

"You sent that 5 grand to Whoopi yeah, but she ain't keepin' it."

"…I think you've had enough."

"No, they said it on the commercial, but you just couldn't hear 'cause…because uh, the…the volume was turned off."

"Mm-hmmm." She said sarcastically.

"Yeah, that cash you sent," he started laughing, "was to a charity!" Shenzi blinked, almost surprised if not for that fact that she thought he was still under the influence of alcohol.

"And they're gonna announce the names of all the people who sent money, at midnight!" This time Banzai gagged slightly as his shirt collar was pulled on more severely in order to bring their faces closer. "Whoa, I like where this is going."

"What did you say?" Shenzi demanded.

"I said 'I like where this is'…wait, are you a cop?" The next thing the male felt was landing rear-first on the floor. Shenzi stared at him, bug-eyed.

"Hey, h-how did I get on the floor?" He pondered. The matriarch's mouth was agape; she couldn't believe what she just heard.

"You're…you're drunk!!" She said aloud, though it was moreso an attempt to reassure herself.

"Yeah, but I'll be sober in the morning. _You'll_ still be the most generous hyena in all the kingdom!"

By this time the female started shaking a little; Banzai noticed.

"Hey if you wanna hear some good news: Gituku's margaritas _suck_ compared to mine!"

Shenzi couldn't believe this, she _wouldn't_…unless… unless there was a sober person to back it up. And since T wasn't here, there was only one other clear-headed being who could confirm whatever Banzai was saying was true. She grabbed Banzai by the shoulder of his jacket and dragged him through the crowd in the direction of three hyenas in another corner…

Ed was just about to get his first real fun for the night; while the one female laid against his back, the other leaned in for a kiss. The moment was cut short however, when someone grabbed him by the back of the shirt and tugged him to his feet, causing both females to collapse down to the floor.

The bewildered male looked back to see who had snatched him away…only to scowl at his two friends. He irritably gestured to the hyenas he had been with a few seconds ago with a nod of his head. Shenzi raised up a hand.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah; they can wait for five minutes." Ed huffed out a breath in irritation, before smiling casually while looking back at the two females and motioning he'd be there in a minute; both exchanged wary glances. The male's expression went back to being irritated once he looked back at the other two.

"Look, I don't know who put this in Ban's head: but he's got some wild idea that I actually donated to charity." She failed to notice Ed's eyes bulge out more than usual. Shenzi allowed a laugh to pass from her lips. "And, not only that, he says my name'll be said all over the kingdom for my contribution. Now, is that drunk-talk or not? …Ed? …Ed? …You're not answering."

Her second male companion just laughed nervously, and shrugged. Shenzi's grip on Banzai released and he landed smack on the floor. The matriarch leaned against a wall and raised a hand to her forehead. Ed stared at her worriedly.

"Oh no, no, no-no-no-no-no-no!"

"Who put on that after-school special crap!?" Banzai demanded, now angry with being drunk.

"Ed, Ed…I can't let this happen. If word gets out I, a first-class, blood-lustin', gun wieldin' hitwoman, _gave_ money away to…to…_**less fortunate**_, I can't _nevah_ show mah face around my own town again!" Shenzi rubbed her arms out of tension; Ed placed his own arms on her shoulders to calm her down.

"This ain't goin' down, uh-uh, no way!"

"So what're you gonna do?" The intoxicated of the three inquired.

"…Momma help me for sayin' this, but I'm actually gonna need both of ya's help. All of ya's if we can get T." Ed laughed in a skeptical manner.

"What? Like she wouldn't wanna steal money from charity." But after hearing herself Shenzi realized Ed was making sense.

"…How 'bout this? I threaten to do to her what I already threaten to do to you two on a regular basis."

"Eh-heh-foo-ger-ee?"

"No Ed, not kicking right where it hurts." Shenzi rolled her eyes for a moment, before grinning evilly. "Much worse."

Now both males' eyes were wide, even Banzai understood what she was talking about now.

"Ya mean…?" The hyena who was still on the floor asked.

"That's right: I'm gonna strap her to the couch and make her watch straight-to-video Disney sequels!!"

"That's…" Banzai gagged, "that's messed up!!" Ed nodded.

"Which is why she'll be so eager to help." Shenzi grinned. "Now come on!" She grabbed Banzai by the jacket again and sped towards the door. Ed looked back at the females who were staring at him peculiarly now, until he reluctantly shrugged and left with the other two.

* * *

"Man, they play good music at 10 at night!" Banzai stated, slurred, as he lumbered out of the passenger's side. Ed caught him before he fell onto the ice-covered road. Then he followed Shenzi to the doorway.

Inside, a loud rebellious sound was just barely seeping through the windows. Shenzi rolled her eyes.

"Sheesh T, if you're gonna listen to rock at least do it enough to disturb the peace. You're hanging out with _us_ for Scar's sake!"

She twisted the knob and opened the door, where a wave of heated air and guitar yowls washed over them. In the living room, T turned around on the couch after feeling a sudden draft, only to sigh in relief and move to the stereo to turn the music off.

"You're back early. You said you'd be out all night." She said.

"Somethin' came up." Shenzi stated as she moved toward the phone.

"What're you doing?" The second female asked.

"Bujune's party was too loud to use the phone."

"Oh."

The matriarch dialed the same number she'd called earlier, before listening to nearly three rings until someone picked up.

"Yeah how do you pull back the money you sent? …Uh-huh, uh-huh…what? But it's New Year's Eve! How the heck am I supposed to-?! …Yeah, uh-huh. Right. Fine. Bye." She nearly slammed down the receiver and let out a mixed sigh/growl. T stared at her perplexedly.

"Pull the money _back_? I thought you _meant_ to send it in!" She said. But after seeing the three looks she was getting from the other hyenas, she looked away timidly.

"As if I would actually give money to a charity, that would spill who I was to the whole world, **willingly**." Shenzi spat. T looked at the floor.

"Well, you could've just asked them not to say your name; that way nobody would know." She mumbled.

"_I_ would; and that's enough for me. Now c'mon, we're goin' to the head office about this."

"Who's that?" The youngest hyena asked.

"The cousin of the guy who had lunch with who spoke to who met in the dentist's office who _dated_ a relative of Whoopi's manager." The matriarch stated, and with a snap of her fingers Ed and Banzai were following her out the door. T stood still for a moment, reluctant to aid in this whole operation.

"…Wait." She spoke. The trio looked back for a moment.

"Look I know this could be embarrassing for you but, which do you think is more demoting: having everybody know you gave to charity when you're supposed to be a heartless killer, or taking away any hope from those who have none? I mean, there are starving families out there, and they could really use that. And even _you guys_ didn't grow up in such great conditions. Wouldn't you be thrilled that some person willingly sent you all that money to make things better? And wouldn't you feel even better knowing, not wondering, who that person was? Doesn't that make you see how important generosity is?" T asked.

There was silence for a moment…

…

"…Pfffft!!!" Ed replied with his tongue. Banzai let out a "Heh, makes a lot more sense than whatever the heck T's yappin' about."

"Ugh." The youngest of the group rolled her eyes irritably. "Fine, I'm coming. But only because one of us is drunk and I know neither of you are gonna keep an eye on him; other than that, don't expect me to help."

"Fair enough." Shenzi said. "NOW MOVE IT!!" She shouted.

The house was empty in ten seconds, and in less than five seconds the roar of an engine could be heard…along with an intoxicated male's voice and one hopping footstep; all slowly fading.

"Hey! I'm not in the car yet!"


	3. Have a Happy New Year, Ow!

Happy New Year's!! And sorry if this is too short.

* * *

T grunted as she struggled to keep Banzai from sprawling out onto the pavement once everybody had gotten out of the car. Up the block, a semi-large corporate building stood against the horizon of the city. Shenzi slammed the driver's door shut, barely making time to turn the car's theft alarm on, before storming up the block; Ed following and T making an effort to keep up with a much larger male being supported on her shoulder.

"Ugh! That's the most tequila bottles I've ever seen in a vehicle that still had its tires on." She stated.

"What?" Banzai garbled. "You think the junkyard's the only place young hyenas like to drink?"

Meanwhile, the firm matriarch was still determinedly marching up the sidewalk; Ed trailing just a few feet behind.

"Wait up!" Came a familiar voice in the background, but the older female paid no heed; even after noticing Ed looking back worriedly at the two lagging behind.

"You ain't helpin: why waste time waitin' for ya?!" The fiercest of the group shouted in reply; barely glancing back.

"We aren't exactly in a safe part of town!!" Now T's voice sounded a little afraid. That was it: Ed stopped in his tracks. Realizing this after the sound of footsteps tracing along was no longer audible, Shenzi let her gaze twist behind her.

"Ed, you're the only one barely useful here!" She said. The male gave her a look that said he was sorry, but he wasn't going to just abandon their companions. Shenzi let out a huff. By this time T and Banzai managed to finally reach them; Ed relieved her of the duty of keeping Banzai steady and draped him over his own shoulders.

"For all the good you three are doin' me I might as well dump y'all somewhere!" She angrily snarled.

"Oh! Wait! Dump us over there! DUMP US OVER THERE!!!!" Banzai begged as he pointed in a direction to the right. Following the gesture, his friends could see a faintly seamy bar across the road; it had tan shingles, brown shutters, and the only window, besides the one on the door, was almost wholly filled with in neon signs. One, that was a vibrant red, said "Open for fun!". Another one, slightly smaller and purple, read "Even for the Holidays!" And behind the bar counter, a young female hyena could be seen polishing the surface. Upon seeing her, Ed's eyes widened in delight and he hungrily licked his maw. He turned to Shenzi and immediately nodded in agreement. She looked at T, who merely shrugged, and rolled her eyes.

"Well move it!!" She commanded. The group quickly darted across the pavement. The, now highly impatient, matriarch held the door open so she could get rid of them faster. As T, the last to enter, passed by, she put a hand to her forehead and groaned; catching the younger female's concerned attention.

"Don't they usually have these kinda thangs on _Christmas?!_" She bellowed.

"Yeah, but the author couldn't think this story idea up in time so she's passing it off as a New Year's special…oops." T bashfully smiled after her mistakenly spoke declaration, which earned her a perplexed look from Shenzi.

"Uh…good luck!" She quickly said, before rocketing inside and banging the door shut behind her.

Shenzi stared at the space for a moment, silently wondering if her younger companion was _allowed_ to announce that, before hearing her watch beep. Shifting her gaze down, she saw eleven pm on the dot. Realizing time was more crucial, the female hyena sprinted down the sidewalk.

_Meanwhile…_

"So you, live nearby?" The bartender asked in a friendly tone; she was looking at all three of them but the question was obviously directed toward Ed. He was grinning at her "friendly" as well, while Banzai and T sat at the bar waiting for the drinks they'd ordered a moment ago. After about a minute had passed the female hyena pushed the off button on a blender behind her and poured a strong-smelling liquor into two glasses, and pushed them forward. Then she got another glass, squirted some different liquid into it from a pump, put an olive in it, and pushed that forward as well. T took the glass into her hand and tilted it to her lips…before going into a near coughing fit after swallowing just one gulp.

"I said I wanted a," She gasped, "_virgin_ drink!"

"That was his." The bartender pointed to Banzai.

"Crap," he scowled, before looking down at the glass in front of him, "so that means…"

T shoved his drink toward him; he offered her hers, but she groaned as she held her stomach, and put a hand up in decline. The older male shrugged and started gulping the alcoholic beverage down, until after a while, blinked and stared at his drink.

"Huh, could use a little ale." He admitted. The bartender, momentarily inching away from Ed, unscrewed a container behind the counter and quickly added it.

To take her mind of the disgust, T glanced up at the TV, which had the local news on with the time in the upper right corner in big bold numbers.

"Hmmm, look at that: only 5 minutes 'til midnight."

"Uh-huh, listen I'm gonna lock up early tonight," the female stated as she took Ed's arm, "you two don't have any car keys on ya, right?" Ed and T shook their heads. She grinned and swiftly left with the younger male of the group through the back door. T glanced back at Banzai, who was near finished with his drink.

"Think we should check on Shenzi?" She asked. His disheveled face looked up at her.

"Monifa? When did you break out?" He slurred, before collapsing onto the countertop. T heaved a breath in slight frustration. …After a moment, she curiously glanced at the still half-full glass in her unconscious companion's hand. Blinking in consideration, she gradually reached over and gripped the upper part of it in her own hand; it slipped out of Banzai's grip with ease. Sniffing the contents for a second or to, she took one more moment to consider her actions…

…Before slowly taking another sip of the drink. She clicked her tongue a few times after the first gulp.

"Huh…not bad."

* * *

"Alright Miss H. Yena, just sign here and your name and money will be nonexistent from this whole thing."

"That's what I like to hear." Shenzi grinned, before writing down her fake human name on the form in front of her; it wouldn't matter if it came back to haunt "Hayma Yena" anyway.

"Oh and, by the way," she started as she headed toward the door, "nothin' personal against you. Even if it _is_ Whoop's word, I ain't the charitable type."

"I could see that by the way you threatened to break my own chair over my head for informing you by the time we actually finished this, your name would've already been announced."

"Amazing at how much faster people work when you terrorize 'em with the slight possibility of a future alleyway-shooting hazard every time they'd walk the streets."

And without another word, the now-content matriarch left the whole incident behind the door she near-slammed behind her.

_Meanwhile…_

"Wow…I…I never thought," she gagged, "I never thought that…wow. This stuff is really good."

"Heh, that was just your 3rd glass." Banzai smirked, still as drunk as before.

"You should teach me how to make these." T stated; half-closed eyes and lethargic expression revealing her intoxication. A sigh that could've been heard by a sober person echoed in the room.

"You need a lift?" The bartender asked, straightening her top. Ed shook his head and moved over to the other two.

"Well look who's back." T garbled once she saw him; the male merely nodded his head and smiled lightly before he picked her up in his arms.

"Hey! Whadda you think you're doi-…whoa." She put a hand to her head.

The second female there laughed, "Your friend's a real light-weight."

Ed only nodded again before kicking Banzai's stool with his foot. His friend became alert with a start, before grumbling and following him out.

_A few minutes later…_

"Are we there yet?" T's slurred voice asked, her arms absent-mindedly waving slightly as she talked. Ed tried to keep his balance as Banzai nearly fell on him from behind.

"I need a drink; I haven't had one in…how'd I get here again?" He said. But then the group was suddenly washed over in yellow light, causing Banzai and T to howl in pain as they raised their arms to cover their eyes. The only sober one of them squinted his eyes to try to see past it, to see Shenzi proudly stepping out of their vehicle. Judging by her change in expression, he guessed she'd accomplished what she'd set out for.

"Alright then, I did what I had to, now let's get Banzai in the back and…whoa. …_**T**_?" Her eyes bulged at the younger female's condition. She threw Ed a questioning look; he nodded solemnly.

"I'm sober enough! You can pin that 'public dru…dru…' oe me!" Banzai growled. Shenzi examined T one last time, not believing what she was seeing, before eventually shrugging.

"Well whatever, I saved _my_ New Year. And that's all that matters. We'll put 'em both in the back, Ed." The matriarch said as she made her way to the car. The sober male followed her suite. But just as he was about to settle T in the back, a familiar voice was heard from behind…

…And much like what happened earlier that evening, Shenzi's eyes widened, and in an almost zombie-like fashion, she turned around and stared blankly at what, or _who_, she saw.

"Thank you for the visit, Ms. Goldberg." A chauffeur said as a woman got into a private-looking vehicle.

"I'm sorry that last donor didn't work out." He apologized. She merely huffed.

"Any person, who'd just put in 5 grand, get all our hopes up, then yank it right back out, is the worst person in my book, _for good_." The woman passionately stated.

This time Shenzi reacted; a drop of the jaw to be precise.

"Well, thanks for the escort hun." She finished, before the chauffeur closed her door. The group of four watched as the vehicle pulled-out, before casually driving away.

For a moment, everybody was still.

"…Well, at least she doesn't know it was you she was talking about." T broke the silence; even being immaturely drunk couldn't prevent her statements of hope. The way the matriarch twisted her neck to look at them made all three of their mane's stand on-end.

"…_I'll_ know, and that's enough for me." She eerily spoke. Ed cautiously took a step back, Banzai, even though drunk as well, was smart enough to copy his actions. T clung fearfully to Ed's chest.

Shenzi's mouth turned down into an almost-hurt frown, and her brow scrunched between her eyes. She took a step forward: that was all the group needed. Banzai and Ed were off like a shot.

…Unfortunately Banzai tripped and fell on top of his companion. Ed struggled to get up but his arms were trapped under T's body. A figure washed over them and now Ed wished he wasn't so sober at all…

* * *

_The next morning…_

Banzai groaned as he woke up the next morning; the hangover was still in mid-session. The only thing he could remember last night was the pain. Other than that, he didn't have much concern about the entire situation, until he felt something warm and soft next to him…

T mumbled as she awoke when she felt something moving along her back. Glancing behind herself, she almost had a heart attack at the first thing she saw.

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"_

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"**

"_**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"**_

"Oh no, no no no, I didn't plan on losing _it_ like this!" The female stated as she began rubbing her arms, which she failed to notice were still covered with clothes…as was the rest of her body. Banzai shuddered.

"Neither did _I_!" He bolted upright…failing to see he still had clothes on as well.

_Meanwhile…_

Shenzi smirked to herself after hearing the screams; since Banzai and T couldn't feel any pain in their condition, unlike Ed who had about three icepacks…one in a personal area, and a splint on his lower leg, she thought of something that would be _much_ worse than a hangover when they awoke from their drunken spell. Even smart enough to know they would be too shocked to notice they had clothes on and had really done nothing but share a bed as they slept off the rest of the intoxications.

"Did we use protection?! DID WE?!" Came T's voice.

"Well, you're not Catholic, right?" Banzai asked.

The matriarch grinned once more, before returning to finishing her breakfast…almost letting a tear pass as she saw her favorite person congratulating those who participated in the donation.


End file.
